Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
