Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
