I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
