You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize