omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
