i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
