I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
