just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He shit in the fireplace
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
