just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
