Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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