sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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