he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize