WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
