Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
