btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
