So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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