You made me cry and you don't even care
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
