I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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