Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
