ya dads aren't the best wingmen
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
