Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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