Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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