So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
