Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize