she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
