Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
