Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
