Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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