This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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