Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish you could order shots online.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
