Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my being single is dangerous.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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