I CAN MOONWALK!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
