"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
