How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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