Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
