Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
