I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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