Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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