so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
