i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
