If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
