So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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