Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
