do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
