im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am available for nakedness
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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