You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Text me some of your sweat
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
