I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
