Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
