So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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