i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
