so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
