Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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