She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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