This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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