Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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