im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i think my cat just said my name.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize