Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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