yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
