PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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