Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize