I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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