So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
