You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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