K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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