I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
