so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
