i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
