Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
