My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
